Last Days of the Old

I just heard the news of the passing of an old family friend who had reached the spectacular age of 102. She let go of her body after already letting go of so much, including friends and loved ones. We all must let go of so many things along lifes road.
In these last days, of what is soon to become the old year, it is a great time to reflect on what you would consciously like to leave behind you. 

Its also a great time to set intentions. Wayne Dyer wrote a beautiful book called The Power of Intention. He says the intention we set must not be self serving or material, it is more about a state of consciousness. 

“ Its not about attracting what you want, but attracting what you are. You have to just be. You have to let go. You have to allow. You have to be free and make this your consciousness. Basically, what you would see is a frequency (of energy) that manifests itself through the process of giving, of allowing, of offering and of serving. It asks nothing back.”

I think this is a worthy intention; to be true to oneself, with honesty, and kindness, in reverence and consideration for all life and in service to humanity. Being in the flow of life as our unique selves, with the gifts we have to share and the blessings we give asking nothing in return but the simple joy of showing up, fully present to life. That is my intention this year, to release any efforts at forcing, or feelings of struggle, to let go of efforts to control or manipulate outcomes, to make no judgment of good or bad but to adopt a Buddhist mantra;

"Everything that happens to me is the best possible thing that can happen to me."

I know this wont always be easy when things dont go pleasantly but I do believe I can grow from every experience that comes my way and I allow this to happen. I attract what I am by letting go.
What are you intending or allowing in the New Year?

Great Expectations

Do you or did you have expectations of how your life would turn out; of what you might be when you grew up, expectations of a certain amount of achievement and happiness?

In my teens I remember a teacher going round the class asking each student what they hoped for in their future. She got varied answers; I want to be a fireman, I want to be married with children, I want to live in an exotic place, I want to have a big house. My answer was, I want to be happy.

All of the answers were lists of things imagined to bring happiness. I just didn't know what that would be for me in the future. How could I, at 13 years of age know what, at 30, 40, 50 would bring me happiness?
Naturally we have basic needs that must be met for happiness and we expect that they will be met, like having enough to eat, a warm dry place to sleep, like-minded friends and family who love us.

What I am realizing in my 50s is that I also have unconscious expectations that I believe may relate to how my parents lived their lives. In contrast to my parents who lived within 20 miles of where they were born, I live 6000 miles from where I was born. In contrast to them I have no children while they had 10. They lived in one house that they purchased, for over 60 years. I on the other hand live in a rented apartment and the longest I have lived in any one place ever is 12 years.

I have been wondering lately if this is why I have the feeling that there is no stability in my life, that everything is impermanent as if my life has not yet taken the shape it will be. I believe that I feel this because of the contrast with my family's choices and feel that I judge this as somehow not acceptable. The expectation that somehow it will turn out like my parents lives lurks in the unconscious.

 My life path and choices have brought me to this moment and asked me to evaluate and appreciate what I now have and what I have done. I say "asked me" to evaluate, as who else is qualified. Only I can truly decide if I have succeeded, if I am happy. I realize the power is in me to choose to look at what I dont have or compare my life with other lives and find it wanting OR appreciate what I do have and see the unique good. I am always going to long for more of what I love and that which makes me happy and I can also practice gratitude for my good fortune thus far. My life has been amazing and I am so grateful for the experiences I have had. Every life has a road or many roads not taken. Hopefully fear has not restricted us and love leads the way. This has to be part of the evaluation. How have you done in that regard?

To thine own Self be True

"The river that flows in you also flows in me."-Kabir

We are not separate though with our eyes we look out from one perspective imagining we observe another. Our perceptions can be wrong when we imagine a life, a motivation or the happiness of another. No one goes without challenges in life and if things look great today for them, I cannot know what they have already weathered in life or what might be in their future.
Years ago, an ex-boyfriend of mine who's life I envied, he was now married with three lovely children while I remained single, said to me, "There's nothing to envy." I couldn't see what he meant. I wanted his life.
Yet I traveled round the world, climbed mountains and saw sights that today still bring me no end of pleasure in their recollection. I would not trade any of my experiences.

We each make our decisions according to our hearts. With each commitment to a path we cut away other possibilities in order to have the experiences we have chosen. This is part of the creative process of living. Not choosing we cannot live. Choosing we must let go of what we did not choose.
So I make a choice today so I may live my life according to my unique perspective and know that further along there will be other choices and opportunities. My life will look different to my friend's life but I don't know what he has had to cut away in order to have his experiences. No path is better than another, especially if we allow ourselves be guided by our own inner compass. So be at peace today with your life and gather the wisdom of your unique experiences. You have chosen and you represent one of the many variations in color and flavor that life offers. Without you, life would be lacking  and we would all feel the loss.

To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man. - William Shakespeare