Love is All You Need

“Love is the only human emotion that consistently generates the most productive and intelligent actions” – Humberto Maturana, Chilean Biologist

Why is it on Facebook that the posts that have animals of different species (including humans) caring for each other, get the biggest response from the public? Why am I moved to tears by acts of kindness? 
Why, I believe it is because I want to know that there is good in the world, that human nature is intrinsically generous and kind, and that true unconditional love is to be found not just between parent and child but is there to be awakened in the stranger. I want to know the world is a friendly place and that I am safe in it.

So often I feel I have to protect myself, to not be vulnerable, to pretend or put on a happy and strong face. I believe I grew up to distrust the world because my parents in an effort to keep me safe taught me to be wary. I understand this motivation but I realize too that it can lead to me feeling separate and disconnected.

Recently I came to a new realization. I am very often disconnected from myself. That's not the new part, I knew that already! But can this disconnect have originated in the same cause, wariness of my human nature. If there is danger out there then there must be danger in here. As without so within! The realization that I am often at war or on the defensive with myself has given me the opportunity to practice replacing that with vulnerability and nurturing. I am playing with this idea and so far I notice I am often less tense and less hyper critical, more gentle and compassionate. I will keep you posted as to whether this leads to more productive and intelligent actions as Humberto proposes. And maybe you would like to play with this as well, it can't hurt!

Florish

Do you have someone you could call at 4 am if you really needed to? If your answer is yes then you are more likely to be flourishing in life. "Other people are the best antidote to the downs of life and the single most reliable up," according to Martin Seligman from his new book Flourish.

In the first two chapters he gives two exercises which I found worth trying and he insists are guaranteed to increase your feeling of well being. The first is DOING A KINDNESS. This he says has been found by scientists to produce the single most reliable monetary increase in well-being of any exercise tested!
The second is GRATITUDE and he sets a very specific exercise.

Close your eyes and bring to mind someone who contributed greatly to your life, someone living with whom you could easily meet face to face. When you have identified this person, write them a letter, it should be about 300 words; be specific as to what this person did for you and how it affected your life and how it still comes to mind. Now set up a meeting with them without telling them your purpose. Its much more fun when its a surprise! When you meet them read them the letter - do not let them interrupt, but watch their reactions and your own. Only after you have read it completely discuss the contents and your feeling for each other.
"You will be happier and less depressed one month from now." Seligman guarantees.

I'm going to try it, I hope you will too.

Get Happy Today!

If you are not feeling great today - you can change that. Happiness is in your own hands and you can begin right now! Think of one thing you are deeply grateful for and come up with one kindness you can do for someone else. Do this right now! It has been scientifically proven that these two attitudes, gratitude and kindliness can increase your life satisfaction in a matter of days. According to research done at the University of Pennsylvania if you take note at bedtime of three things that went well that day the benefits in general well-being will continue for months, your mood and your relationships will improve. A kindness journal or a gratitude journal can make you aware of how blessed your life already is and can increase optimism and peace of mind. This of course will reduce stress and subsequently improve overall health - so simple yet so profound and powerful! I myself have taken to writing thank you cards. Yesterday I went to lunch at a restaurant that I don't go to very often but one waiter always remembers me, asks how I am and he even asks for my friend whom I usually meet there. This never fails to make me feel welcome and acknowledged. This time I got his name and a card will go out to him today because I want to acknowledge how his great attitude brings good to my life. I know you too have many things for which to be grateful today. Start now and watch not only your own happiness increase but the happiness of those around you.  If you read this far I thank you and I'm smiling! Namaste.