Solitude

“Solitude is painful when one is young, but delightful when one is more mature.”
Albert Einstein
It seems when it's our choice, solitude is a delight but if it is not, it is a lot less delightful. Sometimes I long for my space and for quiet, craving the freedom of associating with my own thoughts and reflections. It seems then I am most myself, unaffected by another's energy or opinion. Alone too I seem to be in touch with the creative flow, as I have the spaciousness to explore ideas.
I did not always feel this way. I was fearful of being alone in my twenties, fearing loneliness. Fearing that existential angst of being a life separate from others. It was painful, I did many things to avoid it. When I finally really faced it, living alone in a foreign country, some days it was a real struggle. Eventually I learned to deal with it by calling friends or meeting with them. Later it came to me that a big part of the feelings I had of isolation, of separation and loneliness was really because I was separated from my very best friend, myself!
When I did some inner child work, talking to that frightened child within me and comforting her, it seemed I finally could feel that pain recede and melt away. I've heard it called self soothing. Something we should learn as children but often don't. The healing part in this process, I believe, is being the observer, realizing that the emotion is not who we are.
We are; the observer, the comforter, the wise parent, eternal spirit, the higher self, which is always peaceful, always wise. Realizing this is liberation from pain and struggle. Try it next time you are upset by someone or by your own thoughts.
Just remember to keep the conversation inside your head so you don't risk being accused of insanity!
“I lived in solitude in the country and noticed how the monotony of a quiet life stimulates the creative mind”
Albert Einstein