“The creative process is a process of surrender, not control.”
Julia Cameron
I started a painting with an intention as to what it would look like when I was done. It was an abstract concept which meant I was not stuck to anything too concrete and in watercolor paints that means all kinds of happy accidents can occur to add to the mix. Before beginning I sat quietly and closed my eyes in order to get a clearer picture as to how I was to proceed. Its always a daunting moment putting the first colors down on a blank white page. The only thing for it was to jump in.
And so I did, and as the painting progressed I would regularly walk away and take breaks so I could be somewhat detached from what was emerging. I got it to a place close to how I had originally seen it in my head but I knew it was not finished. I always feel a certain tension throughout a painting. I feel at any moment it can go either way; into the trash can or into a frame. I seem to judge it all the way through its evolution. There is often a point at which I am ready to damn it and declare it worthless and I push on through to make something of it. It can be quite painful, this process of judging your own creation.
My intention from the start of this piece was to let it create itself and so I questioned my creation all the time, "are you finished?" It said no and I proceeded to add a figure at its center. Quan Yin, the Chinese Goddess of Compassion. Trees seemed to sprout from her head, and I saw a moon peak through. She seemed to presided over a tumultuous ocean. I went to bed knowing the painting was not finished yet. In the morning I woke and knew what needed to be added.
When it was done my painting was not at all what I had set out to paint. I was surprised by it, pleased with it for the most part, though I find it hard to be detached enough from my painting initially to know if I'm satisfied with it. Ive heard it said that the way we do one thing is the way we do everything. The process of this painting was so interesting to me. I thought about the way I do life; how I tend to judge the process if things are not yet resolved in some area. My friend calls it 'being in the hallway.' It's a time before you have reached a goal, there are questions, uncertainties, you must bear some discomfort until its resolution. My tendancy I find is to want to rush things to their conclusion.
The truth is we can not know the result until we know the result. Living in the grey area can be uncomfortable but if that is where you are, you have no choice but to practice patience and faith. I realized through the process of this painting that I need to have greater faith in the process. It unfolded as it had a mind to, my job was not to control but to surrender. Ah, sweet surrender!
It does feel good if we can remember to trust that all of life is a process and that what is unfolding has the capacity to surprise us in the most delightful way, if we can let go. I want to practice that more and more. How light it feels to give it over and trust, like having wings and knowing the wind current will support me. All is well. Ah sweet, sweet surrender!
“Mystery is at the heart of creativity. That, and surprise.”
Julia Cameron
Julia Cameron
I started a painting with an intention as to what it would look like when I was done. It was an abstract concept which meant I was not stuck to anything too concrete and in watercolor paints that means all kinds of happy accidents can occur to add to the mix. Before beginning I sat quietly and closed my eyes in order to get a clearer picture as to how I was to proceed. Its always a daunting moment putting the first colors down on a blank white page. The only thing for it was to jump in.
And so I did, and as the painting progressed I would regularly walk away and take breaks so I could be somewhat detached from what was emerging. I got it to a place close to how I had originally seen it in my head but I knew it was not finished. I always feel a certain tension throughout a painting. I feel at any moment it can go either way; into the trash can or into a frame. I seem to judge it all the way through its evolution. There is often a point at which I am ready to damn it and declare it worthless and I push on through to make something of it. It can be quite painful, this process of judging your own creation.
My intention from the start of this piece was to let it create itself and so I questioned my creation all the time, "are you finished?" It said no and I proceeded to add a figure at its center. Quan Yin, the Chinese Goddess of Compassion. Trees seemed to sprout from her head, and I saw a moon peak through. She seemed to presided over a tumultuous ocean. I went to bed knowing the painting was not finished yet. In the morning I woke and knew what needed to be added.
When it was done my painting was not at all what I had set out to paint. I was surprised by it, pleased with it for the most part, though I find it hard to be detached enough from my painting initially to know if I'm satisfied with it. Ive heard it said that the way we do one thing is the way we do everything. The process of this painting was so interesting to me. I thought about the way I do life; how I tend to judge the process if things are not yet resolved in some area. My friend calls it 'being in the hallway.' It's a time before you have reached a goal, there are questions, uncertainties, you must bear some discomfort until its resolution. My tendancy I find is to want to rush things to their conclusion.
The truth is we can not know the result until we know the result. Living in the grey area can be uncomfortable but if that is where you are, you have no choice but to practice patience and faith. I realized through the process of this painting that I need to have greater faith in the process. It unfolded as it had a mind to, my job was not to control but to surrender. Ah, sweet surrender!
It does feel good if we can remember to trust that all of life is a process and that what is unfolding has the capacity to surprise us in the most delightful way, if we can let go. I want to practice that more and more. How light it feels to give it over and trust, like having wings and knowing the wind current will support me. All is well. Ah sweet, sweet surrender!
“Mystery is at the heart of creativity. That, and surprise.”
Julia Cameron
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