Happy Holidays

The holiday season always brings with it some stress and lately I have begun to understand that situations that stress or frustrate us are simply asking us to find the real truth at the heart of life.
Let me explain what I mean. Ups and downs are part and parcel of life, big ones like loosing a job and small ones like screaming kids at the mall; they are pretty much unavoidable so what do we do when we can't change something?
Viktor Frankl says “When we can no longer change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” And the Buddha said the more we resist things as they are the more we suffer.

I dont think its possible to go through life without encountering something that triggers our upset or annoyance or challenges our sanity in one way or another. Its part of being human.

The real truth at the heart of life, as I mentioned earlier, is that we all deserve and are love and understanding. Something that makes us suffer is asking us to find our compassion, to remember that on a soul level we can grow through this experience and find love for ourselves and those around us. Circumstances change, things come to pass not to stay. The only lasting thing is our consciousness.
No matter if you are heading out to shop for Christmas or caring for someone with cancer, in whatever situation you find yourself pushed to your limits, remember it is in your power to practice compassion.

Soften your heart and speak gently to yourself. There is already enough stress in the world. No less than we would wish for ourselves, let us also wish the best for others. Try to find the best possible reason for a person's rudeness or seeming insensitive behavior. There is always room for more love in the world and you can be a channel for it this Holiday Season.

It is a wonderful opportunity to practice goodwill to all men.

And remember if you feel your goodwill toward men running low maybe its time to take yourself back to your sanctuary and make yourself a cup of hot chocolate as you congratulate yourself on your patience and your ability to change yourself instead of fighting the inevitable.  How powerful you are!

Thanksgiving

I'm from Ireland where Thanksgiving is not celebrated which is a surprise to some people here.
I don't know why it surprises people unless they have momentarily forgotten that it was celebrated by the Plymouth pilgrims and the natives who helped them survive their first winter in the New World in 1621. It became an official holiday in 1863, when, during the civil war, President Abraham Lincoln proclaimed a national day of "Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens", to be celebrated on the last Thursday in November.
I have a special relationship with Thanksgiving despite not growing up here, because it was the day I arrived in the US. Of course I had no idea that was the case then but over the years as I celebrate my anniversary as an Irish American I like to give thanks for the experiences that my journey has given me.
I try not to dwell on all that I left behind because I left so much. Every decision we make has a positive and a negative. Every decision we make adds something to our lives. Whether we deem the decision good or bad we still gain. 

I have gained very dear friends. I have gained amazing work experiences and financial rewards that allowed me to travel the world and see things I could not have imagined, from the top of Kilimanjaro to the depths of Death Valley and so much more. I have gained a life partner whom I deeply love. I have gained a spiritual philosophy that transformed my life and showed me my own power to choose what I think and how I act. I have gained more than I can say in this small piece of writing, I gained a life that is good and full and in which I can visit my home and family in Ireland regularly, and I am deeply grateful for that.

I have gained an official holiday to give thanks. I am grateful.
What are you thankful for this thanksgiving? Remember the words of Shakespeare,
 ... there is nothing either good or
bad, but thinking makes it so.

Patience is a Virtue

Our real blessings often appear to us in the shape of pains, losses and disappointments; but let us have patience and we soon shall see them in their proper figures.

Joseph Addison, English Essayist 1672-1719

Patience is not my strong suit, I feel like a tethered wildcat ready to bolt into the next thing if I am forced to wait. I also hate being too early for an event or meeting for this reason. I might have to wait, horrors!

In life when things hit a slow down I'm like a cat on a hot tin roof, jumping from this spot to that looking for a place to find the next resting place or activity. The hardest thing has always been for me to sit quietly, to adopt the attitude of allowing things to unfold, trusting in the future, letting go of control. Anyone out there feel the same?

The first experience I had of meditation was at a yoga class and when I reported how uncomfortable I felt the teacher said, "You are the type of person who would most benefit from this practice." Her words often come back to my monkey mind!

That said I have know the benefits of the stillness. I practiced meditation daily for ten years and I began to feel more centered, content in myself, less frantic. Then life changed and my routine got disrupted.  I started to see how what I gained from all the years of practice started to unravel. The old or was it a new restlessness surfaced. There are more days I feel off kilter, more irritable and less calm and able to deal with life's up and downs.

A bit like fitness really. If you stop working out, or running very soon you lose the benefits of more energy, better sleep, weight control, feeling healthy and thinking more positive.

But as with anything there is always the option to recommit. Every day is a new beginning and no matter what the past looked like tomorrow can be different if we are willing to let go of the belief that things cant change. 

So I recommit on a regular basis to the practice of mindfulness and though there are days that I look like I never meditated a day in my life, I still return to it because I want the benefits. Life is so much better when I trust the process, when I can be with myself in silence. And when life slows down I can wait for inspiration before making a move. Life will unfold its wisdom if I can just have patience and wait.

Existential Angst Anyone?

 “Where there is no vision, the people perish.” Proverbs

I find myself feeling stuck lately, without a vision or inspiration and when this is the case I tend to just do what is right in front of me. I take care of the details of life with a gnawing feeling of purposelessness. During a period like this lots of "why" questions tend to come to the fore and the I end up with "what's it all about Alfie?"
My sister's motto is a quote from Longfellow " I myself must mix with action, lest I wither by despair." It sounds like good advice.

Im very good at keeping busy, being a creative type, there are often not enough hours in the day. Part of that busy action must involve heart connection or it can feel very empty; heart connection with other humans, with animals and most of all with the creative self. There are so many rewarding ways to be involved in life.

And I think there is another layer to this involvement.
I have always been a proponent of Vision Boards for setting intentions, getting excited about new possibilities, creating goals, imagining a future we can feel happy about.

Michael Beckwith Spiritual teacher, leader and Minister of Agape church in Los Angeles says "...the visioning process is about engaging creativity at its utmost, embracing transformation, and saying 'yes' to the best within us ...creating a reality that is literally beyond your imagination."

The visioning process on which he built his very successful church involves getting very quiet, going within and really listening for guidance. We are each here with a unique gift to give. What works for another may not be for you. In the visioning process we ask a series of questions such as, what qualities do we need to embody, what things do we need to know, what do we need to change in our life, and how do we need to unfold spiritually in order to bring forth the vision? This process puts us in alignment with the one energy that animates us all and is a unique expression through each according to who we are. Going with this flow within each of us serves the world in a way that gives us purpose, feels authentic and enriches those around us. We may be called to let go of fear, to take action, to find a new courage in ourselves but for me the alternative is not an option.  
Please leave a comment if this blog was helpful to you, thank you and Namaste.

"I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly." —John 10:10.
(For more information on this process and Michael Beckwith's book on the subject;
 http://www.dailyom.com/library/000/002/000002846.html)

Spiritual Work

I overheard a conversation today which got me all roiled up. Its a subject close to my heart and it brought out the passionate in me. The conversation concerned charging money for spiritual work, whether it is counseling, energy work, intuitive readings, or passing on spiritual wisdom teachings.
One person argued that it was difficult to charge because its a vocation, something one loves doing and simply has to do for satisfaction in life, maybe something one has a natural ability for.

Well I know at least one accountant who feels that way about his work and he plans to never retire. Numbers have always been his thing. (Not mine!!) But do you think for an instant he would think he shouldn't charge for his work? Not a chance!
But energy work or prayer work is something anyone can do was another argument, or at least can be taught to do.
Yes and anyone can do mathematics or at least be taught to do it with great patience (if you consider me!!) I can teach someone to paint, does that make them an artist, I can teach someone the ropes of a library, but does that make them a librarian?
What makes a good or great librarian is the love of books and of passing on that love to the young and old and everyone in between. What makes a great artist is the inner desire and drive to express something through art.
There are many people doing jobs that don't come from their hearts, simply in order to pay the bills. Why should someone doing what they love not pay the bills also? Of course they do, if they are an accountant, or a lawyer, or a teacher, or a firefighter, the list is endless.
Doing spiritual work not only involves one's heart, it is also the giving of ones time and may have involved years, even a lifetime of training, studying and seeking to know more. There may have been formal training, as I have had as a spiritual counselor (five years through Centers for Spiritual Living) but often there is no degree program for some of the work that people are doing to heal, bless and shift consciousness.
If society does not value it I believe its because we are not taught to trust ourselves, our intuition. Credentials are great but even picking a lawyer I need to listen to my intuition to know if he/she is the right one for me.
If I choose to pay a healer, counselor, spiritual teacher I definitely need to listen to that inner guidance no matter their training or life experience. But pay, I will, as I value everyone's time and their life journey, whether it be butcher, baker or spiritual practitioner.
What do you think? Do you feel you should pay for these types of services?

Choosing Happiness

Happiness, the pursuit of it, the very state of it can be controversial. Some people don't believe that its a valid goal or that its really achievable. Instead I hear protests of accepting a contentedness as the best we can expect, or working to eradicate poverty or achieve world peace touted as a better use of energy.  The point of achieving peace or eradicating poverty is to give people the opportunity to achieve happiness, is it not? And as much as I like being content, its been shown that happy people are more generous and kind and able to give of themselves.

Its a bit like the chicken and the egg.

One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy.
One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself.
Gretchen Rubin "The Happiness Project"

It takes a bit of effort to be happy. Yes we can have moments of happiness when something good happens, that's easy. If we depend on events, people or outside influences to make us happy there are no guarantees!! Choice is our greatest tool for happiness, that and gratitude. I just read on Facebook this morning...every day may not be good but there is good in every day. This is so true, its there for us to find if we look.
That's the effort, looking for the good and choosing a perspective of loving detachment from everything else. Choosing to stand guard at the door of our minds for thoughts that judge, are harsh, unkind, mean spirited, paint pictures of doom and leave us feeling powerless. We all know them and their effects. Choosing to be happy empowers us to be more effective in our lives and have a positive influence on others. It takes a bit of effort but I think its worth it, do you?

From the Heart

According to the Heart Math researchers it has been scientifically proven that the heart knows before the mind what the truth is of any situation. So often it is difficult to access this wisdom as the mind's rationality or irrationality tends to dominate.

Sacred geometry connects us with everything in the universe by the very beats of our hearts. Averaging 72 beats per minute resting, that number in esoteric numerology is known as a master number; one that encompasses patterns that replicate the frequencies and vibrations of certain energies of the manifested Universe.

• The axis of the earth moving one degree every 72 years.

• 72 degrees Fahrenheit considered to be room temperature.

• 72 percent of the human body is composed of water.

• 72 hours is the life duration of the ovule.

• The number of languages spoken at the Tower of Babylon.

• The mass of the Moon is the 1/72th of that of the Earth

• The volume of Saturn is 72 times of that the Earth. And on and on.

I have often become disheartened as I unsuccessfully attempt to break old patterns of thinking and have become aware of a process that connects the heart wisdom with the head using sacred geometry so a new perspective can be achieved, it is called Scalar Heart connection. On the website of the same name you can experience this process, a mini session for free. Give it a try, you have nothing to loose but an old limitation.For an extended deeper session I can be contacted by leaving your email in the comment box and I will be in touch. I would also love to hear feedback on your mini session.Namaste.

Great Expectations

Do you or did you have expectations of how your life would turn out; of what you might be when you grew up, expectations of a certain amount of achievement and happiness?

In my teens I remember a teacher going round the class asking each student what they hoped for in their future. She got varied answers; I want to be a fireman, I want to be married with children, I want to live in an exotic place, I want to have a big house. My answer was, I want to be happy.

All of the answers were lists of things imagined to bring happiness. I just didn't know what that would be for me in the future. How could I, at 13 years of age know what, at 30, 40, 50 would bring me happiness?
Naturally we have basic needs that must be met for happiness and we expect that they will be met, like having enough to eat, a warm dry place to sleep, like-minded friends and family who love us.

What I am realizing in my 50s is that I also have unconscious expectations that I believe may relate to how my parents lived their lives. In contrast to my parents who lived within 20 miles of where they were born, I live 6000 miles from where I was born. In contrast to them I have no children while they had 10. They lived in one house that they purchased, for over 60 years. I on the other hand live in a rented apartment and the longest I have lived in any one place ever is 12 years.

I have been wondering lately if this is why I have the feeling that there is no stability in my life, that everything is impermanent as if my life has not yet taken the shape it will be. I believe that I feel this because of the contrast with my family's choices and feel that I judge this as somehow not acceptable. The expectation that somehow it will turn out like my parents lives lurks in the unconscious.

 My life path and choices have brought me to this moment and asked me to evaluate and appreciate what I now have and what I have done. I say "asked me" to evaluate, as who else is qualified. Only I can truly decide if I have succeeded, if I am happy. I realize the power is in me to choose to look at what I dont have or compare my life with other lives and find it wanting OR appreciate what I do have and see the unique good. I am always going to long for more of what I love and that which makes me happy and I can also practice gratitude for my good fortune thus far. My life has been amazing and I am so grateful for the experiences I have had. Every life has a road or many roads not taken. Hopefully fear has not restricted us and love leads the way. This has to be part of the evaluation. How have you done in that regard?