All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players, said Shakespeare, but who
is the audience?
Who do you play your life to, whose approval and applause do you hope
to receive?
I know I spent much of my life looking for that approval in all the wrong
places. It was as if one section of the crowd gave me a standing ovation
but I sought to convert those faces that showed disapproval or mere
indifference.
Why would a person do that?
It is human nature to want to be loved and accepted. If we are not then we
may find ourselves alone and isolated. This brings up the primal fear for
our very survival. As a child I learned quickly how to get that approval
from parents who loved conditionally and a pattern was set.
When as an adult I sought approval from those who with held love, then
I am chasing a rainbow. I had lost myself.
How then could I feel good about who I was.
The belief that hides in this behavior is, "I are not enough as I am."
These people I choose to pursue confirmed my belief. Only when I risked
being true to myself, approving of my imperfections, and loving the
whole rather than just parts, knowing at the same time that I was growing
daily, only then could I find those faces in the crowd that already said,
"YES, you are enough!"
They were there waiting but I devalued their opinion as I did my own.
As Groucho Marx humorously put it,
"I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members."
This realization for me was the turning point in my relationships. I began
to see the approving individuals that I had dismissed and looked for what
I liked in them. Wayne Dyer says, be a love finder instead of a fault finder.
We most often find what we look for. I found love and so can you.
